Once in a while, I sink into depression. It started with the Stars and made worse by Facebook.
The Stars, refers to You Who Came From The Stars, my latest drama infatuation that came to an end all too soon. It was a brief, passionate and heartbreaking affair.
Why did I love the drama so much? Was it because the puppy eyed Kim Soo Hyun? Was it because of the many times it made me laugh? Was it because of the spunky female lead? All of the above, but today I will tell you the truth. I was in love with the fantasy that you can somehow, somewhere find someone who would love and cherish you wholeheartedly. Someone who accepts and loves you, in spite of all your flaws.
I like Kim Soo Hyun for his acting, I admires Jun Ji Hyun for her talent and beauty. I love the characters. But would I want to marry Do Min Joon? Would I want to marry Kim Soo Hyun? No. I am not crazy. I love the drama for it brings together two lovers despite their differences and individual quirks.
Liking someone is admiring their strengths, but loving someone, is embracing their flaws.
An old adage, in various forms, incarnations and languages, yet nevertheless an accepted refrain in many cultures.
Facebook don't often make me depressed. Perhaps it's because everybody has a self protective mechanism, and mine unconsciously manifests as a natural avoidance of Facebook status updates. I am particularly perturbed at the Facebook-surfing habits some of my friends have - Facebook surfing actually seems like a genuine pastime for them to while away spare time.
On the other hand, there's me. I wall myself away in ignorance. I prefer to live in my own world, rather than be forced to face reality. Facebook updates are really a real-time, in-the-now reminder of a ticking clock and a world where people are moving on, and moving on, and moving on.
Years ago, those among my friends who have a significant other numbers in the minority. These days, I am the minority.
I am unwilling to face the fact of my minority status. Perhaps my sudden bout of melancholy will soon pass. Perhaps I should stop wallowing in self pity and go meet people, as my friend chides me. Perhaps I would find a new drama to distract myself.
No matter how I try to run, I can never outrun the facts. Blinding myself to facts, however, has got to be something I am getting better in.
